A couple walks into an unfurnished apartment filled with boxes.
Billy: I really think we made the right decision. Look at how high the ceilings are!
Jill: I know and all that light! Our last place was like a coffin compared to this!
They stop in front of a glassed cabinet.
Billy: That cabinet is kind of strange though. What did they keep in there?
Jill: I don’t know! It almost looks like a display for Emmy awards or something!
Billy: Oh well! Maybe we could use it as mini-bar.
Jill: Whatever. Want to start unpacking some of these boxes?
Billy: Sure. He takes his phone out. Here, let’s listen to some tunes. Happy Shiny People by REM comes on.
Jill: Hey, I haven’t heard this in a while!
Billy: Yeah, I didn’t even know I had this on here!
Three months later.
Jill is in the bedroom listening to Everybody Hurts by REM. Billy walks in and Jill lowers the volume of the music.
Billy: Are you ok, honey?
Jill: I’m fine. Why?
Billy: I don’t know, it’s such a sad song.
Jill: Yeah but it’s so great. I’ve really been rediscovering this band.
Billy: They were pretty good I guess. I’ve always liked that song… Losing my reflection?
Jill: Religion! It’s Losing my religion!
Billy: Right. Anyway, I’m heading out, you need anything?
Jill: No, I’m good, thanks.
Billy exits the apartment and runs into the neighbour in the hall.
Billy: Oh hey, Mark!
Mark: Hey Billy! I see, well more like I hear, that REM is back and louder than ever!
Billy: What do you mean “back” ?
Mark: A couple lived in your apartment and the guy was obsessed with REM! He’d listen to them non stop!
Billy: Really?
Mark: Totally! I know all their songs by heart now!
Billy: That’s weird. My girlfriend just got into them.
Mark: Oh well, take it easy bro!
Two months later.
Billy enters the apartment and Jill is waiting for him with a bag.
Billy: Woah Jill, what’s going on?
Jill: Of course you ask me that. I’ve just been talking about it for the last six weeks!
Billy: What?
Jill: The REM reunion tour in South America!
Billy: Yeah so what?
Jill: I’m going, Billy. I can’t miss it.
Billy: So you’re leaving to go to a concert?
Jill: I quit my job. I’m going to be following them for the next year and a half.
Billy: How are you going to live?
Jill: I’ll figure it out. All I need is the music.
Billy: You’ve gone crazy. You’re bat shit crazy now.
Jill: Whatever. You wouldn’t understand. Goodbye Billy.
Jill walks out. Billy just stand there in complete shock.
Billy: That’s insane. Holy shit. He walks over to the couch and lies down. He closes is eyes.
Six hours later.
Billy wakes up screaming. He was having a bad dream. The apartment is completely dark. He hears something coming from the glass cabinet. He slowly gets up from the couch and walks over to it. He puts his ear against the glass. He faintly hears Man on the Moon by REM. He walks away from it.
Billy: Okay. I’m just tired. I’m going to go to bed and everything will be normal in the morning.
Six hours later.
Billy is awoken by a loud banging. He stumbles over to the front door while rubbing his eyes and yawning. He opens the door and sees the landlord.
Jim: Good morning Billy! Sorry to wake you but I just to need to check your bathroom ceiling. The toilet upstairs is leaking.
Billy: No problem, come in.
They walk past the glass cabinet and stop.
Jim: Oh I see you’ve kept this thing.
Billy: Yeah, didn’t see why I’d throw it out. I use it as a mini-bar now.
Jim: You know the guy who built it, Sean, he used it to hold his REM memorabilia.
Billy: What?
Jim: He had a bunch of limited edition LPs and he kept them in there.
Billy: And that’s the guy who lived here before my ex and I moved in?
Jim: No, not that guy. It was like two tenants ago.
Billy: But Mark told me that the guy before us was an REM freak?
Jim: Yeah that was Nick. Huge REM fan. He keeps walking to get to the bathroom.
Billy: Hey Jim, could I ask you for something?
Jim: From the bathroom. I am all ears, Billy.
Billy: Could I get a list of the people who have lived here since Sean?
Jim: Still from the bathroom. Sure.
Ten hours later.
Billy is sitting at his desk in front of his computer. The apartment is all dark except for the screen, that casts blue light on Billy’s face. We see the screen – he’s on the REM fan page. He clicks on ‘Official REM fan club’ and a list of names appears next to some pictures. Beneath is written the person’s role in the fan club. Billy looks at list of names on a piece of paper on his desk. It is the list of previous tenants written by Jim. The list reads as follows:
Sean Temple
Joanne Cook and Robert Langley
Lyne Graham
Nicolas Pope
Billy looks at the computer screen. There is a picture of a man in his fifties who is listed as the fan club president, his name is Sean Temple. Billy scrolls down and sees a picture of woman, underneath is written: Joanne Cook, Treasurer. Billy gasps. He continues to scroll down and sees the smiling face of a blond – Lyne Graham, event organizer. Billy’s eyes open wide. He looks frightened. He quickly clicks on another page of the site, as if to find relief. He ends on the ‘Event photos’ page. He sees a bunch of people with REM t-shirt posing together. He scrolls down the page without much interest until he sees the face of someone he knows – Jill is staring back at him. He backs away from the computer in disbelief. A sound attracts his attention. Music can be heard, coming from the glass cabinet. He walks closer and closer to it until he can make out the lyrics: “It’s the end of the world as we know it…” He screams and buries his fist in the cabinet, shattering the glass. His hands collides with wall behind the cabinet as he has made a hole in the back of the flimsy piece of furniture. The wall gives in completely. Billy pushed the cabinet aside and investigates the hole in the wall. The music now seems to be getting louder. He puts his arm through the hole and feels an objet. He grasps it and pulls it out. He sees that is an REM vinyl. A sticker read ‘Limited edition. 1 of 25.’
Billy: Limited edition eh? I should probably sell it on Ebay! I’m sure one these freaks would pay big bucks for it. Maybe even Jill, now that she’s joined the… cult. He looks intently at the vinyl. Oh you know what? Fuck it! He break the vinyl in half. A loud scream is heard in the distance.
In the exact moment. Jill is at an REM concert in Panama. She shakes her head as if waking up and looks around, confused.
Notes on a Napkin: What were we thinking? 